Friday, December 17, 2010

The Irrelevant Party

Manitoba Liberals See a Massive Increase in Membership
Hope to hit double figures in 2011

WINNIPEG (CP) - An unidentified homeless man who wandered into the Siloam Mission is believed to be the fifth member of the Liberal Party of Manitoba.

The man, who goes by the street name of "Buzz", came through the doors of the downtown Winnipeg mission this morning and as he was fumbling through one of his pockets, a crumpled-up piece of paper fell out. A volunteer with the mission picked it up and noticed something very strange about it.

"It had some red lettering on it and someone's signature on the bottom. I'd never seen anything like it," said the volunteer.

Before returning the paper to Buzz, she read further and discovered it to be a membership card in the Liberal Party of Manitoba. "It looked real," she said.

Dr. Jon Gerrard, leader of the Liberal Party of Manitoba, was overjoyed by the news.

"This proves that our hard work is paying off and that our message is getting out to the people. Manitobans are ready for a change and they're turning to the Liberals," said Gerrard.

Gerrard declined to confirm the authenticity of Buzz's membership in the party, but expressed optimism that the card was genuine.

"I'm confident that once we do our due diligence, we'll find that we have another supporter in our ranks."

"I see this as a growing trend. By the time the election rolls around next year, I am confident that we will reach double figures. I knew that when I took this job we could outstrip the Marijuana Party in popular support," added Gerrard.

The Winnipeg Free Press, an arms-length wing of the Liberal Party, announced that it will run a 10-page pullout section in this Saturday's edition on this breaking story and the upswing in support for the Liberals in Manitoba.

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